A Lesson on Mortality

Today I had to say to good bye to one of my best friends. We had to put our beloved puppy (okay she was 13, so maybe not puppy) Princess to sleep. She was beginning to struggle to breath and had stopped eating a week ago. It's hard but it's comforting to know God's taking care of her until we can get there. She's sitting in Jesus' lap right now, chewing on a t-bone, and enjoying a nice tummy rub from an angel. I can't write anymore right now, crying too much. I'll leave with some song lyrics, a poem, and a Bible verse.

Song Lyrics: Phil Joel, Passing Angel

We won't say goodbye
This is not the end we know
Truly all who live must die
But not all who live Have truly been alive

So, I will celebrate your love
Celebrate your faith
Celebrate your love
And the legacy you leave

We won't say goodbye

Poem (my roomie wrote this out for me and put on my desk, I balled when I saw it after getting back): Jan Cooper, Heaven's Doggy Door

My best friend closed his eyes last night,
As his head was in my hand.
The Doctors said he was in pain,
And it was hard for him to stand.

The thoughts that scurried through my head,
As I cradled him in my arms.
Were of his younger, puppy years,
And OH...his many charms.

Today, there was no gentle nudge
With an intense "I love you gaze",
Only a heart thats filled with tears
Remembering our joy filled days.

But an Angel just appeared to me,
And he said, "You should cry no more,
GOD also loves our canine friends,
HE's installed a 'doggy-door"!

Bible Verse: Matthew 10: 29-31

²⁹Are not two sparrows sold for a penny^d]">[d]? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. ³⁰And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. ³¹So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Pray for healing of our broken hearts

2010: A Year of New Beginnings...and New Year's Resolutions

I can honestly say I am very happy to put 2009 behind me...my dad said it best when he said, "I hope 2010 is better than 2009, 2009 sucked!" But the important thing is it's over and it is time to move on.

Yesterday during church, God opened my eyes and, I hope this is what happened, showed me what he wants to teach me this year. What is love? (no not that weird song in Night at the Roxbury). God showed me that I have a really warped idea of what love is. The movies and the TV shows tell us that love is physical. And it's not I looked up 1 Corinthians 13 (the famous love chapter they always read at weddings...I'm going to put it at the bottom) and it says nothing about the physical. But I think God wants to tell me what he says love is. I was sitting in church, in a bad mood because the dog kept me up all night, and just thinking what is wrong with me? The whole bad self image thing reared it's ugly head. Satan was telling me lies and telling me I have no value because I'm single. (this is all difficult to express because I'm still trying to work what was going through my head into words). I think I've realized why I'm still single...it's because I need to strengthen my relationship with God before I can have a relationship with a guy. God is showing me already that I don't need a boyfriend to feel good about myself and he's more than enough for me.

Time for another song :) More than Enough by Chris Tomlin

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
worth living for
And still more awesome than I know

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You're my sacrifice
Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
You're the coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough for me

Now it's time for New Years Resolutions:

1. Become closer with God (establish a real relationship)
   
2. Read the entire Bible in one year (using the study Bible Mom gave me)
3. Procrastinate less (less procrastination leads to better grades...I hope so at least)
4. Strive for all A's and A-'s
5. Become more organized
6. Be more healthy (eat better, exercise...*wince*)
   
7. Start memorizing the TMS for Navs
8. Be more consistent while writing this Blog
9. Spend less time on the computer
10. Make new friends (and keep the old...one is silver and the older gold :))
    
11. Fast from TV at least twice a week ( I've been thinking this one over and I think it'll help with all the resolutions...it basically means no TV at all for at least two days during the week, probably Monday and Friday...this way I'll get more reading done and I watch too much TV anyway)

Pray Requests: for Mom and Emily (going on a diet), work for Poppy, Ang (whatever she may need), Rachel (military stuff), me (more outgoing and to keep my resolutions), LM schools (levy pass and wisdom if it doesn't) and a good 2010 for everyone

Praises: Thank you God for opening my eyes...and for the completion of 2009 :)

Updates and Christmas Rant

Well, it's been since September and today is January 4th. I'm not very good at staying consistent, but I'll provide updates.

Updates:
1) First Semester of college officially over...finished with a 3.60, which is a miracle in itself
2) My roomie Rachel might be enlisting in the military so I may be roomieless next semester
3) Christmas/Winter Break...oh boy, where do I begin?

I'll begin with a paragraph. Well it say that this Christmas was different from past Christmases is an understatement. Because of recent events we had Christmas solely at our house and we (Ang, Dad and I) only went to my grandparents to say hi, drop off and pick up presents. For Christmas dinner we had roast beef, which is another change, we usually have turkey. The people in my house have been extremely moody...not just for Christmas, but in general...one minute we'll be joking and having a good ole time, and the next people will be yelling/crying and stomping off to there given rooms. This has mostly been between my sisters, and being the middle sister I naturally try to resolve the conflict putting me in the middle. This has been quite stressful and I don't particularly enjoy it. I'm beginning to realize that it is not my place to resolve their problems and I need to stop putting myself in the middle, I'm praying that that will become a reality.

It really seemed in all this craziness that we forgot what Christmas is really supposed to be about. Christmas is a celebration about an act of complete unselfishness and we celebrate it by being selfish jerks...how does that make sense? Jesus, the Son of God, humbled himself and became a powerless human baby because he loved us. WOW. It's sad that our culture has turned Christmas into what it has. Our society has warped good things and turned them into sin and sinful behavior. Christmas has turned into a worship of materialism instead of the worship of the Son of God. God gave us the ultimate Christmas present and we return the favor by ignoring him and worshipping an obese man that doesn't even exist. God forgive all of us for what we've made it.

I'm going to end with the lyrics from the song Heart of Worship by Michael W. Smith

When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus